Hey, over here. Put down that Tator Tot for a second and mute the volume on Dr. Phil so I can have your complete, undivided attention. And I’m not being bossy. I’m trying to get you used to ‘mono-tasking’.
During a recent telecommunications presentation (don’t ask), I heard a few comments about Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty’s proposed Anti-Distraction legislation.
Can the Government do that? Force us not to be distracted?
Hmm, I wonder if I would have gotten better grades in High School if I had – oh, sorry, I zoned out there for a second. Where was I?
Oh, yeah. Legislation enforcing anti-distraction. Whew, that’s a big one. For now, the proposed rules will make it illegal for us to be distracted by electronics while we’re driving. I’m all for eyes on the road, who isn’t, but they regulate these high tech devices and then decide they don’t like how we’re using them.
Holy power play, Batman. Is there a ‘Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth’ ordinance around the next corner?
McGuinty originally opposed the notion of banning cell phone use in cars. We do have a ‘careless driving’ charge which carries lofty penalties. But then, in a surprise government move, he flip flopped on the issue. Well, maybe just a flop. He says we can use our phones, but we can’t hold them. Opposite to the new smoking law where you can hold your cigarette, but you can’t smoke it.
No Cell Phones; no in-dash DVD Players; no Blackberry’s; no GPS. That’s right. You have to turn off Cecile or Stella or Gracie – whatever name you’ve given that sweet talking lady with the slight British accent that lives in your GPS. When you need directions, stop the car and then flip her on. Just when I thought we were done with the “We MUST be lost – all the street signs are in French!” arguments.
If the folks ruling the roost are concerned about us being distracted while driving, we shouldn’t stop with electronics. Shut down the entire drive thru eating industry:
“Yo, Joe. This is the Premiers office calling. We’re making it illegal to shovel in any food that could ooze or spray or otherwise distract while driving so sorry, Friend, you’re not getting that permit to build the Sloppy Joe Drive-Thru Splatter Puss Emporium”.
Next, let’s ban hot coffee, hot chicks that turn heads and big eye-catching signs that scream hot savings.
When I’m behind the wheel, I find myself breaking up brotherly fights, passing around snacks to my road crew, assembling KinderEgg toys, rockin’ to the musical stylings of Miley Cyrus and ducking as an action figure grazes my temple.
If there is still room in the STUFF TO BAN Suggestion Box in the Premiers Office, I’m going to insist on the immediate end to transporting all life forms under the age of 10.