Thud.
I’ve successfully dragged my third overloaded laundry hamper filled with fresh from the dryer clothes up from the basement.
My son is oblivious to my domestic work out as he sits at the counter with his school books opened.
I’m sure he figures it’s the Spin Cycle Fairy that drags out the dirty clothes from under his bed or picks up the piles on the floor and then poof, magically returns them to his drawers clean and folded each week.
“Doing math homework?” I ask while wiping away dripping sweat and pushing my dishevelled hair behind my ear.
“Yup. This problem is killin’ me. If a train is going 100 km’s per hour and makes 3 stops per hour that last a total of 15 minutes, how long will it take to get to Split Lip, Ontario which is 647 km’s away? My brain isn’t warmed up enough to figure it out.”
“Hmm. Let me try and heat up your thinking.” I shove the hamper with the clean clothes behind one busting with dirty stuff that’s been waiting for its trip to Laundry Land.
“If 5 people live in a house and everyone wears a new pair of underwear every day, how many pairs of underwear would have to be washed after 7 days?
“Easy. 35”
“And if those same 5 people also wore a pair of socks each day and a new shirt – how many items would need to be washed?
“Another 70 so 105 things would have to be washed”
“Good. Let’s add one pair of pants each.
“We’re at 140.”
“Toss in 12 pairs of pajamas and let’s go for 5 sweatshirts per 7 days.”
“Okay …. Ah, carry the one …. 159”
“Four of the people play a soccer game and have a practice each week. So 8 pairs of soccer shorts, 8 jerseys, 8 socks. What are we at?”
“Plus 24 …. We’re at 183”
“10 towels, 4 pairs of sheets, 7 pillow cases, 5 tea towels”
“209 – Mom, this is getting ridiculous”
“And because the weather is so unpredictable right now, we have tons of days when people change from shorts to jeans, put on a long sleeve or a hoodie with track pants. Blankets and comforters need to get washed, baseball hats, jackets. I think we can safely add another 30 miscellaneous items weekly for these 5 people.”
“239”
“Now, how many items get taken out of a drawer, merely held up in the air, not selected for wear and put in the dirty laundry hamper instead of back in the drawer?”
“Mom. We’re done. I can’t figure it out in my head anymore”
“In a year, we’re talking about more than 12,000 items washed, folded and put away. Don’t say Laundry Chute, say ‘Shoot, Laundry.”
“Forget the laundry, Mom. I’d rather figure out how long it takes to get to Split Lip, Ontario”
“Me, too. Where can I buy a train ticket?”