Through the magic of modern publishing, I’ve been able to slip away without anyone being the wiser. I snuck back into town last Thursday night after a week in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic.
Certainly I’m no travel writer but I do feel an obligation to report my experiences so no one else has to walk in my shoes … well, sandals.
The people in the Dominican are having a little fun at our expense.
As soon as you land, everyone greets you with a smile and a big “Hola” (oh la!), which simply means ‘hello’. Well, how much fun is Hola to say?? They know that once we tourists master ‘Hola’, we think we are completely fluent in Spanish.
So the laughs are on us when we start an exchange with “Hola”, throw a little slowed-English in and then they reply by hitting us with actual full Spanish sentences.
“Hola. Me a-no like, you know ‘like’, well, me no like too much rum, okay?”
“Ah, Si. Entiendo. Quieres un montón de ron” replies the pool bartender with a grin as she pours what looks like an awful lot of rum into my Banana Mama.
And, of course, the food at our hotel was fantastic. But I knew what the staff was up to. They figured they’d fatten us up for our world-renowned cold Canadian winter. Well, the jokes on you, Island Dwellers, because it’s not winter in Canada all year round. We’re gonna be fat for summer – hah! Take that, Chocolate Crepe Station!
Sadly, the rooms were so clean and well kept that we could never feel like it was a ‘home away from home’. The fresh flowers on the bed, the gleaming tiled floors and the sparkling Jacuzzi tub --nope, sorry, but that’s not screaming ‘home’ at all.
But it didn’t truly dawn on me that we were the brunt of some international ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ tomfoolery until I was on the beach at sunset the night before we left with two of my sons and my two nephews. They were all wave jumping and frolicking as I looked out over the ocean.
The water, quite honestly, was a colour my eyes have never seen before. It never appeared on a colour wheel in school or on a Glidden paint chip.
I’ll say jade but, wow, what a weak description. It was greener, or lighter, or brighter or maybe deeper. And lying under a lavender sky with its streaks of blueberry and pink, well, again, the Punta Cana locals surely giggle knowing they’ve challenged us to describe the indescribable -- in any language, let alone our own.
Thank goodness the honestly of SkyService came into play or we would have been completely duped by greatness. SkyService, our airline carrier, folded its wings while we were away. Thank you, SunWing, aka The Cavalry, who came to our rescue. They were amazing and gave us a fabulous ride home.
We did stumble upon love on that Dominican Island though. Mickey D’s cousin Jaime-Lynn married her sweetheart Damon under a white gazebo alongside breathtaking shores and white sands. They had lots of friends and family gathered. Even bathing-suit-clad onlookers from the beach witnessed their vows. Hopefully the hairy guy in the Speedo didn’t make it to any of the photos. There were no words to describe that sight either.
Alison Davies writes More About Life weekly. Email your thoughts to alisondavies@morebusiness.ca